FIVE BEN-EFICIAL IDEAS FOR BEN (BERNANKE)

Ben has been leading an all-out attack on his invisible enemies in this "financial World War III" (according to Erin Burnett of CNBC) but the situation appears to be worsening daily. Putting interest rates at 0%, and buying up all types of "worthless" mortgages and other financial assets has just made the situation worse, eroding confidence.
As long as Ben is running the printing press 24/7, here are some ideas, which, if implemented, will make our economy sky-rocket with a turbo-charged booster.

1. The Fed provides anyone who is laid-off the same annual salary as Ben.
   
2. The Fed pays everyone's health insurance premiums, and all co-pays. This includes people who are currently without any health insurance.
   
3. The Fed contributes the "match" (instead of the employer) to everyone's retirement plans- 401K, etc.
4. The Fed pays a new mother's salary for six months while she cares for the new-born baby.
5. The Fed pays the tuition of every College student.

Money spent on these initiatives will probably provide greater return than throwing it at crooked banks or at other lemons.